Why is our perception so different? Never judge a book by it's cover.

This topic is clearly not funny but hopefully gives you a little insight about the real Kristen.
I recently had to write a discussion paper over "Popularity and Friends in adolescents" for my Human Growth and Development class.
As I was preparing to write, I asked a few friends their opinion on how it felt to be either "popular" or "unpopular." As almost 30 year olds it seems almost funny to discuss this. The truth of the matter is that popularity doesn't matter in the whole scheme of life. But, according to the required book for class, popularity becomes the center of a child's universe. As a parent, that statement is terrifying.

Through talking to some of my school aged peers, I have heard many of their different perceptions about me from school. Laura Gant sat on my floor and said, "I still ask myself when we are hanging out if I am really friends with Kristen Bredehoeft(emphasis on name)?

Now, if you know me...I mean, really know me, you know that I am not sharing this to brag. I have actually always had a very low self esteem. I am old(er) now and can unashamedly admit that. It wasn't until after having two children that I finally became comfortable in my skin. Yes, this is a reason I began modeling. See, from an outsiders view you may not have known this. People always just assume. I spent most of my life being told I was beautiful and never believing it.

But, I am sitting here shaking my head and laughing because outside beauty is incredibly overrated. INNER BEAUTY is what defines you as a person. Beauty fades. Breasts droop. Butts are too taken over by gravity. You cannot take beautiful hair to the grave. You can take a beautiful heart and although it took me way too long to realize that, I am glad I am at that place in my life.

So, when I am told by many friends that I "WAS very popular", "they wanted to be me" blah blah blah, I am almost flabbergasted. Actually, just a moment ago I was told by a dear old friend that they have NEVER seen me be shy. I may have been a cheerleader and comfortable in front of a crowd, but intimate conversations with unintimate peers was highly uncomfortable for me. I can remember distinctly walking in the commons not really knowing who to cling to. Why didn't anyone notice I was so shy? Instead, they coined me as "snob" and who knows what else.
My perception of myself was that I knew I was accepted by "the popular crowd" but I honestly didn't associate with them. You see, who was popular to me is different than who was popular to the next person. I was a train wreck in junior high and even more in high school. And college, well...we wont touch on that.

I guess what I am trying to say is that we all live in our own world of perception and it's almost unfortunate.

At almost 30 I can sigh and say that my life has come full circle. I only thought I was comfortable in my skin at 26 years old. At nearly 29 I may not like these new lines on my face but I am happy with who I am. I don't need anyone other than my maker's approval and I surely don't need to be told I am beautiful. But, if I was, I'd believe it now---because I do know that yes, I make mistakes, but my heart is beautiful and that is more satisfactory that any other beauty and some silly approval of popularity.