My favorite picture from Easter

My favorite picture from Easter
Bunnies aren't the only ones who drop eggs.

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Here's to lessons learned.

It has been quite some time since my last post. I don't know where the time has gone, I almost feel as if I have just floated through time since then. So wrapped up in the moment that I haven't been able to fully grasp what I was going through. Getting a divorce is not a walk in the park, not even if it was a mutual decision. A divorce symbolizes failure and I never want to fail again.

I haven't had too much "me" time so it has been hard to gather my thoughts for a blog.

School is, well...it's school. I can without a doubt tell you that my 4.0 is in jeopardy. But, I am actually ok with that. I never said I wanted to take over the world, I just wanted the option to.

Kids are doing well. I am still trying to make the best decisions for them. They are my ONLY certainties in life and I am happily obligated to ensure that they have the best. So, there is a lot that has been weighing on my mind. Some decisions are more important than the others, but they are all tied together like a shoelace that has been unraveled. But, momma is quietly judging and taking notes and will kneel down and tie those laces again very soon. I am just going through the motions in life, living one day at a time. I may not have it all figured out at this moment in time but it is all becoming clear to me. I have been in a maze and I am making my way out again. I thought I knew myself before, but I have faith that I will truly know me when I reach the end of this particular road. I am wondering around searching for the next path.
I feel that today may be a step closer to that road. For the first time in a long time, I have taken a deep breath and actually took time to consider the things that I do not want in life. It is easy to summarize the things that you do want, but realizing what you do not want really puts everything into perspective.
Apart of me wants to take chances. But, how do we ever know if that one chance we take will put us in the same situation later in life? I believe that is where "lessons learned" takes place.
There should never be mistakes in life. Rather, lessons learned.
Assess your situation. Allow yourself to consider what is important to you. Is making over 100k/year important to you? Is dating a man that loves your kids important to you? Is marrying someone who is attentive to your emotions important to you? Maybe being a stay at home mommy is important to you. Whatever it is, make sure you KNOW and make sure you MAKE it happen and NEVER settle for less. Settling for less is what leads to that infamous word: FAILURE.
Have a great night my beautiful g'friends. Remember that we create our own happiness. Depressed state of minds are temporary. Latch on to your goals in life. Don't lose sight of who YOU are and NEVER let anyone change the REAL YOU.

1 comment:

  1. You're at an incredible turning point- not that I need to tell you that. Each road we take, for better or for worse, molds and shapes who we are. Every little thing that either suggests subtle change, or is just a sobering slap in the face, brings us down from where we envision ourselves to be. It forces us to look in the mirror.

    Everyone goes through hard times. Everyone suffers. If there is one absolute guarantee on this earth, it's that you will inevitably fail and subsequently feel pain. It happens to all of us. There is only one thing that differentiates us from one another when that comes knocking; our response to it. You've had a bad experience, and I hate it for you. However, unlike most other people your situation, your attitude is incredible. Don't lose it. Don't be afraid to risk again. Step out on faith with the understanding that during this time, He is carrying you. Remember the "Footprints in the Sand"? If not, google it. If so, then you understand that there isn't a place on this earth you will arrive at where you will ask for His healing and grace, and it not be given.

    When you do decide, whenever it may be, to trust someone with your heart again, remember this: A relationship on this earth should be viewed as a triangle. You're at the bottom right, your man is on the bottom left,and the Good Lord is at the top. As you both move towards God, it is inevitable that you will move closer together...

    In the meantime, fail forward. God bless!

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